Dig Deeper

I am a writer. Of that you now know. But I’m more than words on a screen or in a book.

I’m a wife.

I’m a mother to 4 young children.

I’m a survivor of Postpartum Depression.

I’m a sister.

I’m a daughter of childhood both wonderful and worrisome.

I’m a glass half full kinda girl.

To understand let’s start at the beginning, the part that makes me who I am. Let’s take a brief walk down memory lane, a flash back if you will.

In the winter of 2001, my 100% healthy mom had a stroke, the totally unpredictable nonsensical kind. It sent our easy life into a whirlwind of hospitals, chronic illnesses, and near death. In the almost 19 years since then, life hasn’t changed. This shaped me, molded me, into the person I am today. Both the good and some bad. One day, I’ll write that all down too.

Another major milestone for many women is motherhood. With my first came a traumatic physical scar. With my second came the emotional scar that has lingered through the third and fourth pregnancies. I survived a 3-4 year bout of SEVERE Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I’m talking the worst of the worst, lock her up throw away the key kinda crazy. But the Lord saw me through with the use of medicine, counseling, and people. So many people. I’m now beyond blessed to say I’m medicine-free, counseling free (except for talks with close friends), and completely healed. Disclaimer: This is not to say I don’t occasionally struggle or have an inclination to return to that dark place, but I’m free from the chains of depression, equipped with the tools to deal with those rare moments.

Both of those illustrated negative snapshots of my life. But there is so much good. So so so much good ya’ll. I married an incredible man who stood next to me during my hardships of motherhood. He’s a great father and partner. I’ve had three children and I’d go through it all again for them. I can honestly say my brother is one of my best friends and my parents, though not perfect, are incredible role models who support me through thick and thin.

My family, from my children to my grandparents, have surrounded me with love and friendship my entire life. And my Savior has literally pulled me out of the pit of despair, filling my heart with a dream beyond myself.

Wow. Digging deeper isn’t easy. But there’s a relief that comes with it as most of my baggage spills out before you, in nutshell form. All of this fueled my writing, my creative outlet being the way for me to express the emotions I tend to feel too deeply for a sane person.

Thank you for walking alongside me during this journey to authorship. Thank you for listening and reading and caring. Maybe if we all dig a bit deeper, we’ll find a commonality reaching beyond our differences.

***If anyone you know is suffering from depression of any sort, reach out, love them and sit with them. You don’t need words. You don’t need to be a professional. You just need to care. Please seek professional help for you or your loved one as depression can lead you to do and say things apart from yourself. It’s a lonely time. But we must always remember… we are never truly alone.